Happy Monday Clemson FCA! We had an amazing night last Thursday getting to hear from the Splawn’s. The Splawn’s answered many of our questions that we had about relationships.
We are made to live our lives in relationship with others. This is clearly demonstrated in the Bible through the 10 Commandments. The first four commandments are about our individual relationship with God. The next six commandments our about our relationships with each other. We are not meant to do life alone.
It is not just about a romantic relationship; it is good to walk alongside others in our faith walk. We are not meant to do this alone. We are meant to build each other up and encourage each other throughout life.
You can honor God in singleness, and you can honor him in dating, you can honor him in all of it.
The Splawn’s answered some relationship questions that we had sent in throughout the week.
1. Is it possible to love your person too much while not loving/focusing on God?
Yes, this is possible. The First Commandment says, “Thou shalt have no other Gods but me.” You have elevated them in your life or elevated yourself above God. Your spouse should not put you above God, then they are worshiping creation and not the creator. In order to love each other, you have to first love God.
2. How can you have a successful relationship in college?
First of all, you have to remember why you are in college in the first place. Your goal right now is to get an education. Your significant other should respect that and want you to reach your goals. If they are pulling you away from God, don’t force it, it will cause heartache and grief down the line.
3. How do you know when someone is genuine in their relationship with God before you get into a relationship with them?
Matthew 7: 15-20 helps us understand this question.
“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them."
The fruit produced by a tree shows how healthy a tree is. A person’s behavior reflects what they believe. Walking in the spirit is a sign of maturity. If someone is a new believer, it will take time. A seed takes time to produce fruit. But also keep in mind where you are in your faith, you want your significant other to help guide you and lead you.
It is crucial to take time to figure out what someone truly believes. This takes time but it is vital in a relationship.
4. What are the differences in relational intimacies?
These levels of relationships are:
All relationships should start with friendship. Then courtship is spending time with them and getting to know them on a deeper level. There is nothing wrong with courtship, it is for the purpose of getting to know each other. Courtship doesn’t mean commitment. This is when you start connecting with them and understanding them.
Covenant is between you and him and God. Think of it as a triangle, with God at the head and the husband and wife at the two points. The two of you should always put God at your focus. You should be growing closer in your relationship with each other while ultimately growing closer to the Lord.
5. When God calls you to date but you have fear of Rejection or fear from past experiences?
First of all, make sure you are always transparent about your feelings with each other. God can heal the past pain and wounds that you had. Although, if you are seeking an earthly person to save you, you have already started out wrong. Apart from God, you can do nothing.
6. What should I do if my boyfriend isn’t a believer of God but I’m in love?
1 John 4:19 says, “We love because he first loved us.”
God loved you before you loved him. He gave his life for you. God loves you so much that he gave you a choice. He still loves you even if you don’t choose him.
Any relationship will be hard because it is two imperfect people trying to have a perfect relationship.
If you care about the person enough, you will tell them the truth. Let them take time to know God first before you take the time to know each other.
If they don’t know God and they don’t know him, it is impossible to know love.
1 John 4: 7-11,
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”
7. What should you do if you’re interested in a friend but don’t want to ruin a good friendship?
Friendship is the first step in a relationship. If you have feelings for a friend, you want to be careful to not build a friendship on a lie.
If you begin to pursue each other and at any point you or him realize it isn’t working, honesty is important. Let them know in a loving way.
8. How do you know that the person you are with is the person God intended for you?
God will show you through intimacy with Him and continued obedience.
“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”
Your relationship with God is the most important relationship you will ever have. Make sure this relationship is prioritized in your life.